Rachael's Hell-broth Stoup

The inspiration for this was a post by somone in an online community who has expressed an interest in starting a non-profit aimed at introducing kids to Shakespeare.

Enjoy!

1.5 pounds eye of newt
1 pound package frozen frog toes, defrosted
4 lizard legs, skinned and de-boned
1 boneless skinless howlet's wing, cut into chunks
3 tongue of dog (ears make an acceptable substitue and are available at rachaelrayears.com)
1/2 cup dried adder's fork, reconstituted in hot water
powdered blind worm sting, for garnish
1 quart box organic chicken stock
couple of palmfuls of steak seasoning
1 onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, grated on small hand grater
3 carrots, chopped
2 ribs of celery, chopped
1 parsnip (carrots with attitude)
EVOO extra virgin olive oil, 4 turns of the pan, plus extra for liberal drizzling
1 baguette crusty French bread, for mopping
handful of rough chopped Italian parsley, for garnish
4 ounces grated Parm-Reg, plus more for passing at the table

Preparation:
Heat EVOO extra virgin olive oil in a cauldron on the stove until screaming hot. Stir in onion, garlic, carrots, celery and parsnips; cook until softened. Add eye of newt, frog toes,dog tongues (or ears, if using),  lizard legs, howlet's wing chunks and steak seasoning. Add organic chicken stock and heat to boiling. Allow to bubble 30-40 minutes, stirring all the while, or until eye of newt is opaque and frog toes, lizard legs and howlet's wing are fork-tender. Stir in reconstituted adder's fork.

Serve in Boil 'n' Bubbles and top with powdered blind worm sting, parsley and grated Parm-Reg.

Serves 2.

Carnitas a la Hakuna Fritatta

Well it's that time of year, kiddies! Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo and the local Mega Lo Mart has big packages of pork butt on sale. We're talking cheap! $1.48 at Winco. So I got one. America's Test Kitchen started sending me newsletters and, lo and behold, video of them making carnitas. I've made carnitas before from the recipe in Ronald Johnson's Aficionado's Southwestern Cooking, but I didn't realize that oranges were part of the braising flavorings. I actually do have lard in the frig that was purchased specifically for making carnitas, but compromising on the advice in the video, I used a tablespoon or two of the lard to brown the meat instead of a pound or two as directed in other recipes (I'd brown stew meat for stew, so why not the pork for carnitas?) and then chicken stock as the braising liquid so I can reduce it later and pour it over the meat.

Still have to figure out what to do with that package of chorizo purchased at Gateway Produce yesterday...

3-4 pounds of pork butt, cut into roughly 2" chunks
1-2 Tbs lard
1 onion, quartered vertically
3 cloves of garlic, mashed with the flat side of the knife
1 orange, juiced
1 tsp ground cumin (or to taste)
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp chili powder
1\2 tsp cayenne
2 c water

Preheat oven to 300. Melt lard in Dutch oven, then brown pork chunks (probably need to do it in 2-3 batches. Return pork to Dutch oven and add onion, garlic, stock and spices. Simmer over medium heat about 30 minutes. Cover and transfer to oven. Braise for an hour, then turn meat over and continue braising for another hour, or until meat easily comes apart with a fork.

Shred meat, spread out on a baking sheet and return to oven until crispy on the edges, about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, bring reserved braising liquid to a boil and reduce to a sauce-like consistency. Pour sauce over meat and use as filling for tacos, enchiladas and burritos.

EatingWell.com has got to become one of my regular stops on the internet. I ran across this recipe a couple of days ago and mentally filed it away. I was certain I had everything to make it, but soon after whisking together the dressing I realized that tuna, of which we usually have several cans at any given time, there was none. However, I did have some chicken thighs left over from a couple of nights ago, so I cut one into chunks and used that. The dressing was delicious and tasted just like the Chinese Chicken Salad I had at a restaurant once.

Tip on the fresh ginger:

I like to buy a knob and store it in a plastic bag in the freezer. Then when I want to use it, instead of messing around with peeling I just run the knob over the microplane.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/sesame_tuna_salad.html

Sesame Tuna Salad

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup rice vinegar or lemon juice
• 3 tablespoons canola oil
• 2 tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
• 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger
• 2 5- to 6-ounce cans water-packed chunk light tuna, drained
• 1 cup sliced sugar snap peas or snow peas
• 2 scallions, sliced
• 6 cups thinly sliced napa cabbage
• 4 radishes, julienne-cut or sliced
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro leaves
• 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
• Freshly ground pepper to taste

Preparation

1. Whisk vinegar (or lemon juice), canola oil, soy sauce, sesame oil, sugar and ginger in a small bowl.
2. Combine 3 tablespoons of the dressing with tuna, peas and scallions in a medium bowl.
3. Divide cabbage among 4 plates. Mound one-fourth of the tuna mixture (about 1/2 cup) in the center of each plate and garnish with radishes, cilantro and sesame seeds. Drizzle with the remaining dressing (about 2 tablespoons per salad) and season with pepper.

Cat Fight!

HP recently posted the flap between NYT writer Mark Bittman and Alton Brown are having at it after Bittman's comment that food television has become "all competition, cleavage, nastiness."

 Love ya Alton, but there's no need to get all pissy about it. Bittman is right -- Food Network jumped the proverbial shark some time ago and in the wasteland that remains, your show and Anne Burrell's are about the only thing worth watching. FN's priorities are clearly big, loud personalities and cleavage hawking co-branded merchandise, which, sadly for FN, I have no interest in watching.

What originally drew me to Food Network was information and an interest in healthy eating. As a new gastric bypass patient, the food I was raised on would no longer work and I had to do something. George Stella and Juan Carlos Cruz had a lot of useful information. Sadly, they are long gone.

Easter Kitchen Projects

Oh, what's a girl to do? Mom got rolls from the store, so she doesn't need me to take anything to her place for dinner today. No need to take a veg, since Mom got spare guts on sale yesterday. I think I may whip up some Hollandaise, however.

I've been thinking the last few days about crumb cake. I had planned to slap one together this morning, and I did. But there were a couple of problems: I completely spaced on putting vanilla extract in the batter, along with the dried cranberries, and the crumbs came out way too moist. It tasted okay (if a bit oily), but need a re-do because I know it can be so much better.

The big success so far today was my Parmesan Roasted Brussels Sprouts. Couldn't be easier! I just took a bag of frozen sprouts and let them thaw out overnight. Then I cut them in half and doused them with a hit of olive oil, salt and pepper and grated about a half cup of grated Parmesan over the top. Baked at 350 for about a half hour. The came out with just the right hit of crispy brownness and the roasting mellowed them out nicely. I could see maybe the juice of a lemon over the top...if you really wanted to get fancy.

On the Food Scandal That Will Not Go Away

Talk about the proverbial tempest in  a teapot. Does it really matter whether Rachael writes her own books? All her recipes come down to 3 categories: standard fare for which numerous recipes already abound; things so obvious that no recipe is needed (microwaving bacon, scooping sherbet into dishes); and the crazy Frankenfood which is just 2 dishes mooshed together (tacosagna, anyone?) I don't feel too badly for her. With all the millions she's made from people who don't know any better, she can buy lots of Kleenex.

On the Ghost Writing Controversy

Considering all the backpedaling going on lately with indignant authors refuting a NYT article describing what it's like to be a ghost writer, I thought I owed it to the purported author of one of the volumes in question to at least look at it. So I placed a hold on Gwyneth Paltrow's homage to her her father Bruce, My Father's Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness.

Overall, I have to say that this book is attractively produced. The paper is treated with clay, which produces a shiny finish that complements photographs of the artfully presented dishes. There are serviceable collections of soups and stocks, salads and dressings, burgers, sandwiches, pasta and desserts. Of particular interest (read: filed away to make later) are the butternut squash soup, duck burger with plum sauce catsup and tuna melt with Gruyere.

Since I don't personally know Ms. Paltrow, it's impossible for me to say how authentically hers the voice in the book is. I will mention, however, that she singles Julia Turshen out for recognition more than once and in fact the two appear together in a photograph. It seems to me that this lends credence to Turshen's allegations and takes it away from Paltrow. I don't think she helps her case much by belaboring the point.

In many ways, Paltrow's book is similar to the one I'm currently editing (although Sharmagne's book has enough of a slant that the reader can easily see that it is something unique). I have to wonder whether this book would have been published had the author been someone else, or had a lot of money not been thrown at its production. I get that Paltrow enjoyed cooking with her father and for her children, but what authority does she have? What credibility? In her articulated defense, Paltrow laments "we're talking about my professional life here." Well, no. Not really. You see, dear. you are an actress. Acting is your profession. Cooking is something you do for fun, which you state outright in the book.

Perhaps it all comes down to a matter of definition, or a lack of specificity in outlining the roles of author and editor. Every author can benefit from a skilled editor – even Hemingway and Thomas Wolfe relied rather heavily on Maxwell Perkins to polish their prose.

Note: I am not weighing in here on Rachael Ray and her alleged farming out of the writing portion of her books. The last RR tome I looked at was the Get Real Meals thing, in which she railed against low-carb diets. I have to wonder what exactly she would feed a diabetic boy.