Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Rachael Ray Ingredient Permutationizer© Successfully Reverse Engineered

Or, how to publish 100 cookbooks without actually creating anything new.

Lemmings and generally clueless people everywhere commonly express amazement at Rachael Ray's prolificness in publishing book after book. "How does she come up with all these ideas?" they muse.

Various theories have been suggested, such as:
She throws darts at a dartboard that has ingredients named in the various sections

She has a list of ingredients written on little slips of paper and randomly pulls them out of a hat

She extracts them from her nether orifice

I have come to the conclusion that the correct answer is none of the above. Nope, the correct answer is that she uses a tool I have dubbed the Ingredient Permutationizer©.

Here is the formula:
(C/2) * (C-1) * F1 * F2 * M * Ch = T

C = number of classic dishes from various cuisines

F1 = format of a dish (ie, soup, stoup, stew, burger, slider, mac n cheese, lasagna, salad, sammie, etc)

F2 = some ethnic cuisine as characterized by presence of an item supposedly representative of that dish (ie, curry powder = Indian, oregano = Italian, mint = Greek, soy sauce = “Asian,” smoked paprika = Hungarian, cumin or chipotle = Mexican, etc)

M = meat item (or mushrooms, for “vegetarian" dishes) strip steak, chicken breasts, ground beef, veal, pork, turkey, etc)

Ch = some kind of cheese

T = total number of dishes possible

Try it yourself, kids! You too can become a published "author."

Southwestern Monte Cristos, anyone?

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