Monday, November 16, 2009

In Defense of Guy Fieri

Oh gag me.

From Food Network Fans (natch).

You've got it all wrong, John. I can't speak for others, only myself, but I will say this:

I dislike Guy Fieri (nee: Ferry) primarily because on too many occasions I saw him cram some huge greasy thing in his mouth and then witnessed the excess condiments drip all over his beard where it usually remained. Sorry, but this is not my idea of compelling television.

His network-developed, over the top Peter Pan frat boy persona is just, as they say, gravy. He is in no way real or sincere; rather he exists because some network tool thought him up and then cast him for the job. Ever see The Simpsons episode where network executives decide that Itchy and Scratchy's ratings are dropping and need to add a new character -- Poochie? Guy Fieri is Poochie.

I know he graduated from UNLV with a BS in Hospitality Management (doesn't quite sound like culinary chops to me unless in addition to Hotel and Restaurant Management they offer a chef option -- but frankly I don't know and yes, I could look it up, but I don't care enough to bother). I've seen his cooking show a couple of times and I can't imagine making any of his recipes. He has yet to learn that less is more. Goddam, does he ever back off with the spices? I think you'd have to be a hard core smoker to enjoy anything he made.

Is Bob Tuschman so very disappointed by criticism of his pet ("no one doesn't like Guy Fieri!") that he had to pay you to counter it with this touching paean? Tuschie would be better off realizing and acknowledging that he has screwed up Food Network big time with his poor programming decisions.

No one I know who is serious about food in general (at least cooking it, those whole like to watch jiggling tits and listen to inane stories while watching it be prepared and the aforementioned Peter Pan frat boy stuffing crap in his gaping maw are another story altogether) can't be bothered with Food Network anymore.

Now that you mention fois gras, perhaps Tuschie's next brainstorm will be a show in which tubes are shoved down the hosts' throats and they are force fed, Now that would be riveting!

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