Hakuna Fritatta

Paula Deen's Reckoning

2012-02-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

For a psychotherapist, Dr. Cheryl Pappas seemsto be rather willfully missing the point and indeed, the very reasonfor the backlash against Ms Deen in the wake of revealing her diabetes diagnosis. While I cannot speak for others, I'm happy togive her my opinion.

I don't see anyone“celebrating” Deen's diagnosis. I do see people criticizing herfor promoting a severely unhealthy way of eating while proudlyproclaiming “I'm your cook, not your doctor,” and now she is cashing in on it. There is no rejoicing that I've seen, only the realization that the inevitable has come to pass. Call it karma. Since Deen'sascension at Food Network, she has made millions turning herself intoa caricature. She has endorsed everything from cookware (logicalenough, I suppose) to ham, frozen pies, bed linens and patiofurniture. Oh, and don't forget the new line of plus-size clothing.

I've long been a critic of Food Networkspecifically because they present much of the work of their talent as“healthy” and “figure friendly” when it is anything but. Whenasked to provide nutritional information on their recipes, FoodNetwork demurs, retreating behind a claim of providing onlyentertainment. Through this criticism, however, I've cut Deen someslack because unlike others in the Food Network stable, she never pretended that her food was good for anyone.I couldn't bear her over-the-top dirty old lady persona (Foghorn Leghorn is a morerealistic Southern representative), but I suppose that is a matter ofpersonal preference.

Of course, Deen's medical situation isher personal business and she has no obligation whatsoever to shareit with others. The fact that she chose to do so now, I believe, hasmuch more to do with explaining away her endorsement deal andprotecting her brand – and her millions – than any altruisticmotivation. Viewers are left with a sense that Deen would sell herown grandbaby if she could make enough doing it.

Paula Deen

I've not seen a single post where people blamed Deen for makingthem diabetic, or claimed that she force-fed them anything. The simple fact of the matter is that Deen and FoodNetwork have overplayed their hand and their audience and now,Kardashian-like, must deal with the fallout. Paula needs to take herlumps like a big girl and stop whining that a few million people lessare now her fans. Television and the public marketplace is no placefor the thin-skinned.

To Ms. Deen, I would suggest thatrather than attempting to re-define her brand by her son Bobby re-working her oeuvre into something people could actually eat, Deenshould take her empire and millions and retire. The chasm between what you have been and what you need to become to survive is simply too great. The damage is doneand in my opinion, it is not reparable.

While I am no sort of medical or socialauthority, I do have some experience with these issues. My youngerson, now 18, was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at age 7. It has beena Sisyphean struggle to get him to manage his diabetes in even amarginally satisfactory way, and I have multiple ER visits under mybelt to prove it. Additionally, I spent most of my life beingmorbidly obese and even though I managed to lose large amounts ofweight several times, it always came back. Until my gastric bypasssurgery in 2005. At my top weight I was larger and looked even morelike Baby Huey than does Deen in the photo that accompanies herconfession.

Oh, and Dr. Pappas, speaking of “practicing theart of mean.” you'll notice that my headline does not call anyone“stupid.”

Caramel Apple Cake

2012-02-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

As a teenager, I had 2 horses. The first, Sparky, was one ornery bitch and I shared her with my older sister (also an ornery bitch, but I digress). We lived at an old farmhouse that had many apple, pear, cherry, plum, hazelnut and walnut trees on the property.

When Sparky decided the riding session was through, it was through. Her favorite trick to end said session was to run under a low hanging branch on one of the apple trees. She would knock me off and I would suspend in the air for a moment, just like Wile E. Coyote, before landing on my butt in a big, mooshy pile of rotten apples.

Fast forward 40 years.

Both the fridge and pantry are getting a bit bare, as Daniele has been taking the car to school lately. Yah, I could take the bus, but what with the arthritis and all, don't feel much like going anyplace. Or getting up off the couch, for that matter.

Gravenstein Apples

So, casting about for ways to attack that sudden sugar craving, I decided to throw a cake together.

For those poor schlubs who do not live in an area where Gravensteins are available, sorry, my heart bleeds for you. Granny Smith will suffice in a pinch.

Note: we are NOT “apple pickin' people,” we are “picking apples up off the ground people.”

Caramel Apple Cake

2 ½ c flour

3 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 tsp ground cinnamon

½ c butter, softened (10 seconds in the microwave does the trick)

1 ½ c sugar

3 eggs

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 ½ c milk

2 Gravenstein apples, grated

Combine flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in a bowl and set aside. In the mixer bowl, cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add vanilla. Add dry ingredients and milk alternately, beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Stir in grated apples.

Grease and flour the bottom of a 9” x 13” baking pan and pour in batter. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or so...until golden brown and starting to pull away from the sides. Remove from oven and allow to cool.

Caramel Frosting

½ c butter

1 c firmly packed brown sugar

¼ c milk

3 c powdered sugar

½ tsp vanilla extract

Melt butter in a medium saucepan. Add brown sugar and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, for 2 minutes. Raise heat to medium high and add milk. Continue to cook until mixture comes to a rolling boil. Remove from heat and stir in powdered sugar and vanilla. If necessary, add a few drops of milk so that the mixture is spreading consistency. Spread over the cooled cake.

12 servings.

Rachael Ray's "healthy" School Tacos

2012-02-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

First Lady Michelle Obama Launches Nutrition Guidelines

I think it is a wonderful thing that the USDA recently announced changes in the components of school lunches. I still can't get over being shocked back in the Reagan administration when, for the purposes of school lunches, catsup was deemed to be a vegetable.

First ladies traditionally have a special cause to advocate, and Michelle Obama has chosen better childhood nutrition and exercise habits. Her advocacy has done much to raise awareness of this pressing issue, and I applaud her efforts. To announce the new nutrition guidelines, Mrs. Obama, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and Food Network cook Rachael Ray launched the guidelines by lunching at Parklawn Elementary School in Alexandria, VA. The menu was a purportedly healthy dish of turkey tacos with corn, black beans and ranch dressing -- one of a handful of recipes Ray developed for the program.

I well understand that this was a high profile event and in order to increase awareness of the issue, partnerships are formed which, which, when placed under the microscope, do not fare particularly well. My issue with Ray has always been that she calls her recipes in general "figure friendly," but never bothers to explain what that means. A typical Ray recipe will provide double portions of meat and pasta, so despite her claims to be leading the cause against childhood obesity and diabetes, at least one of the recipes she developed does nothing that I can see to further it. I suppose I could crunch the numbers of the rest of Ray's recipe's for this program, but with names such as "Mexi Mac and Cheese," I will leave it to the reader's imagination.

So I looked more closely at Ray's Turkey Tacos recipe and sure enough, not only is this recipe not particularly healthy for children, it isn't particularly healthy for adults, either. My methodology is to compare a recipe's main ingredients against the food database at CalorieKing.com. I add up the numbers for calories, fat, carbohydrate, fiber, protein and sodium (cholesterol and fiber are subsets of fat and carbohydrate, respectively), then divide by the recipe's stated number of servings.

My calculations are, if anything, quite conservative. I would encourage anyone, particularly stakeholders, to double-check my figures. This dish is part of a purportedly "healthy" meal being recommended at the highest levels as a positive addition to school lunches. Really? In the linked recipe below, the calories are about half the daily Recommended Daily Intake for an adult, with 55 grams of fat and 70 of carbohydrate. The school meal also includes a serving of brown rice, which is not taken into account here.

School nutrition is certainly a worthy cause but I wish First Lady Obama and Secretary Vilsack had teamed up with someone who has more credibility than name recognition. Weren't Jamie Oliver or Ellie Krieger -- an actual Registered Dietician, by the way -- available? Especially now, in the wake of the scandal of Paula Deen revealing a 3-year old diabetes diagnosis at the same time she endorses a diabetes drug, Food Network and its on-air staff need to pay more attention to the substance of their content.

And one more thing: at the risk of appearing to be mean, Rachael Ray does not have children. I have 30+ years experience as a parent and cannot fathom kids eating most of this stuff.

Turkey Tacos with Black Bean and Corn Salad and Yum-o Southwest Ranch

I've re-done the numbers for the tacosand they don't seem to be as bad as I thought at first. Calories areslightly lower but sodium still seems pretty high. Carbs are high butfiber and protein are decent. Apologies to all for previouscalculations.

I still can't imagine kids eating this,though. The rest of the meal was a side of brown rice, milk and, Ibelieve, a fruit. Was there any sort of measure for waste afterward?

Calories: 931

Fat: 49g

Sodium: 1631mg

Carbohydrate: 72g

Fiber: 15g

Protein: 52g

Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and First Lady Michelle Obama Have Lunch with Students at Parklawn Elementary School

Nutrition Standards

Alliance for a Healthier Generation

Cooking Light Rocks

2012-01-29T07:30:00.000-08:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cooking-light/healthy-snacks_b_1217355.html?ncid=webmail7#s624537&title=Whole_Wheat_Crackers

I'm glad to see someone responsible in the food arena posting info like this. It can be a challenge to find healthy snacks in the workplace, but this article shows that with a little planning, it's possible to have something low-cal with fiber, no-cholesterol, that will keep you satisfied. These snacks will cost you less than a daily dose of Snickers or chip, which is an added bonus in my book..

My Christmas Cooking Disasters

2011-12-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

I had the best intentions of taking a lot of food to my mother's house for dinner on Christmas Day. Fudge, some vegetable gratin, rosemary walnuts, deviled eggs, and a batch of sugar cookie dough for my brother's Christmas present.

I suppose the cookie dough was the least of the challenges and really, by now I should be able to make it blindfolded in my sleep and with an arm tied behind my back. And jumping up and down on a pogo stick. But even so, the dough was a bit dry. I forced to submit to my will however, and eventually got it into 2 pretty decent looking rolls.

Divinity is one of those candies that I usually associate with Christmas but no one in my family has made it for a long time. Hence my decision to make a batch, which went horribly, horribly awry.With the first batch I overbeat the egg whites and I decided to pitch it and start over, since all l lost was 2 egg whites. With attempt #2 the egg whites refused to be whipped but I continued anyway. It tasted good but looked awful and consequently it did not make it to Mom's house. I made a third attempt the next day and it was closer but still a bit soft. At least I was able to form individual candies instead of one big ugly sugar blob.

And the fudge...Velveeta Fudge is now my go to fudge recipe. No cooking and it always comes out right. I also love the unexpected dairy quality that Velveeta gives the fudge. Only problem there was that I had forgotten to get a new bag of powdered sugar. I also got Velveeta slices individually wrapped because I didn't need a 2 pound block.

The deviled eggs...argh. I had fallen victim to a plastic device intended to cook hard boiled eggs so that you don't have to peel them. Instead you just slide the eggs out of these cups. Except that mine stuck to the plastic cups. Plus the eggs were flat on the top end. And the texture was just odd. I gave up on the deviled egg idea and instead used those 6 eggs in a batch of potato salad.

The most successful dish of the day was the same one to which I had given the least amount of thought. I had gotten some pre-made pie crusts (never did pick up my grandmother's knack with pastry). I rolled the dough out to fit a 9 x 13 pan, then covered with chopped deli ham, grated Swiss cheese and some chopped Italian parsley. Baked at 375 until the cheese was melted and bubbly. The cut chunks pretty much disappeared from the plate.

The rosemary walnuts were from The Gourmet Cook Book and went together easily enough. I didn't get much feedback on them at Mom's house though because the container was covered by wrapping paper or something and no one noticed them. I had a couple of bites though and I thought they were good.

But my most wonderful food memory from this Christmas will be Daniele. He and I have a tacit understanding that we won't be getting each other presents until our financial situation is a little more steady. But we were at a Trader Joe's looking at cheese and I remembered Daniele saying that he hasn't had any real Gorgonzola since he's been in the US. So I got him a chunk. It was runny and stinky – in short, exactly what he had in mind. And as he enjoyed his stinky cheese smeared on crostini he said “this isn't just a gift. It's my childhood on slices of toast.”

Spinach Turnovers

2011-11-24T14:27:00.000-08:00

Spinach Turnovers

I'm constantly trying to get Daniele to eat more vegetables – with little success. My latest effort was these spinach turnovers. They started out purportedly for him to take to a Thanksgiving potluck at school. Then I discovered I didn't have the right kind of cheese. I also apparently cross-pollinated that idea with something from the Silver Palate 25^th anniversary cookbook that called for rosemary, ricotta and prosciutto as a filling for filo dough. What eventually turned out was this:

A savory spinach with sauteed onions, garlic and shroom, planted neatly on a blob of ricotta and egg mixture, and baked to golden crispy perfection. Here's how I did it.

Heat a cast iron pan over medium high heat and add a tablespoon each of olive oil and butter. Saute the onion until soft and translucent. Add mushrooms and continue to saute until they are golden. Add garlic and stir in a thawed and drained 10 ounce package of spinach. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

In a separate bowl, combine 1 cup of ricotta and an egg. Cut 2 sheets of thawed puff pastry each into 4 squares. On each square of pastry, place a heaping tablespoon of the ricotta mixture, and 1\8th of the spinach filling. Fold pastry over filling to form a triangle and place on a baking sheet. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes.

Fun Sandwich Surprise

2011-11-15T15:38:00.000-08:00

Note: as I review what I've typed here, I realize this is technically 3 separate recipes. Will edit in a bit...perhaps after I've made a panino. Dammit, after thinking about bread and cheese for the last half hour, I'm hungry. ;D

I've been on something of a bread-making frenzy lately and consequently, have tired of my basic white bread recipe. To tart things up a bit yesterday, I pawed through my cabinets. Fortunately, I stumbled over and seized upon the sun-dried tomatoes whose original purpose was long since forgotten. I chopped those up and together with a dash of oregano and some julienne'd basil, they were kneaded into the dough before the second rise.

If I say so myself (and I do), the house was bathed in that blissful aroma known as Eau du Pizza Joint while the bread was rising and baking. I knew what to do with this loaf even before it came out of the oven. I dragged out the panini maker and heated it up. To a halved slice of my wonderful bread, I added slices of some fresh mozzarella from the local MegaLoMart, as well as a few slices of Roma tomatoes and a couple of fresh basil leaves. Then my off the cuff concoction went into the panini press for just a few minutes, until I heard the hiss of melted cheese hitting the hot grill.

Yes Virginia, it was as wonderful as it sounded. The bread was all toasty and crisp, with the gooey wonderfulness of the cheese. I made one for Daniele when he came home from from school and he declared it a perfectly gourmet combination of ingredients. Ha. He used to say that about everything I made, but when he realized he was losing credibility, he made it a point to dislike things occasionally.

I have decided to name my creation Panino Caprese.

For the bread:

1 cup water

2 TBS olive oil

1 TBS sugar

1tsp salt

1 1\2 TBS yeast

3 cups flour

1\2 cup chopped sun-dried tomatoes

good pinch of dried oregano

scant TBS julienned fresh basil

My latest bread dough technique is to use the KitchenAid with the dough hook attachment, but with essentially the same method as the bread machine. That is to say, start by putting oil, sugar, salt in the mixing bowl while heating the water in the microwave for 1 minute. That way it comes out pretty consistently to 100 degrees or so. Add heated water to the oil, sugar and salt. Dump in 3 cups of flour and yeast. Mix until the machine is throwing the wad of dough all around the mixing bowl.

Remove dough when it isn't particularly sticky and knead of a floured surface until somewhat satiny. Back in the day they used to say until it feels "like a baby's butt," but I don't think that expression is quite PC anymore. Place in a greased bowl and allow to raise in a warm place until doubled in bulk, usually around 90 minutes. Punch down dough on the floured surface and knead a few minutes more.

Form into desired shape, ie, conventional loaf, baguette, road load, focaccia...whatever floats your boat and set to rise a second time -- around 30-45 minutes. Bake at 350-75 for around 20 minutes, or until golden brown on top.

The Loaf That Was Not to Be

2011-11-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, my pal Margaret sent me a bread machine as a birthday present. After the initial gluten-based delirium subsided, we got over the bread-making frenzy and more or less ignored the machine until I met Daniele. He, too succumbed to the same delirium that had enveloped us, and rekindled my passion for the intoxicating perfume of fresh-baked bread wafting through the house.

I, however, had trouble getting loaves to come out consistently right. For whatever reason, Daniele managed to pull it off, so he became the primary creator of all things yeast-related. I had the best luck with the "dough" setting, shaping and baking the loaf outside the machine. Soon, I was making some pretty fantastic baguettes and focaccia on a more or less regular basis.

Today, I thought I would welcome Daniele home from school with focaccia. I started a batch of dough and checked on it after a couple of minutes. The stem thing that holds the paddle on was loose and the paddle hadn't combined the flour with the liquid. I removed the bucket and liquid dripped out of the bottom. I gave up on that batch and started another, making sure that everything was aligned correctly. It seemed to be going well, so I went about my business.

10 minutes or so later, I heard a crash in the kitchen. Since the cat has developed the bad habit lately of checking on things on the counter, I yelled at him, assuming he had knocked over dishes in the drainer. But no -- Fred was cozily ensconced in his chair in the living room, dreaming kitty dreams of catching the squirrels and blue jays in the yard. I continued to the kitchen. There I found the bread machine on the floor, the lid about 3 feet away and the bucket upside down. I had scrubbed the kitchen floor pretty recently but hadn't yet swept today and there was dirt stuck all over the dough. I decided that was enough for the day and threw away the second batch as well.

Oh, when Daniele and I went out to the car for me to take him to school, the battery was dead. Something pretty damn wonderful better happen to make up for my morning. Harumpf!

Marcus Samuelsson's White Bean Soup

2011-10-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

It''s that time of year again, kiddies. Yup, up here in the beautiful (but wet) Pacific Northwest, our fleeting summer has fled. Up here, we don't tan, we rust and here is a little WD-40 for the body and soul. Stumbled over this on the web and thought it sounded simple, delicious, cheap and easy. Think I'll make it tomorrow night.

http://www.kitchendaily.com/recipe/white-bean-soup-142870/

White Bean Soup

1 hr 35 mins total
10 mins prep

Ingredients

Serves: 4

2 cans Great Northern beans
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 cup canned stewed tomato, chopped
1/2 cup chopped carrots
1/2 cup chopped celery
8 garlic cloves, chopped
3 bacon slices, chopped
4 cups (or more) chicken stock
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary, chopped
1/2 cup heavy cream
grated Parmesan to finish

Directions

Heat olive oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add onion, carrots, celery, garlic and bacon and sauté until vegetables are tender, about 6 minutes.

Add beans, chicken stock, heavy cream, canned tomato, and rosemary. Bring soup to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low; cover and simmer until beans are very tender, stirring occasionally, about 1 hour.

Add more chicken stock by 1/4 cupfuls to thin soup, if desired. Garnish with grated Parmesan.

Season soup to taste with salt and pepper.

Read more: http://www.kitchendaily.com/recipe/white-bean-soup-142870/#ixzz1ZaeM9iUk

My Poor Neglected Blog

2011-09-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating in a long time, but my kitchen has been in various states of unusability as a major overhaul occurred. Cabinets ripped out, floor tiled, new sink, faucets, light fixtures, tile backsplash begun. Paint to follow when all else is finished. Phew!

Today's Commentary

I heard at a certain online community that someone @ Food Network demoed a recipe for something called "Flat Pasta with Creamy Corn." Here's the original:

Ingredients
6 ears corn on the cob, husked
2 tablespoons EVOO – Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/4 pound pancetta or lean, center-cut bacon, finely chopped
1 Fresno chili pepper, seeded and finely chopped or 1/2 small sweet red bell pepper, finely chopped
2 tablespoons chopped thyme
1 small red onion, very finely chopped
3 to 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 cup shelled fava beans (when available - remove from pod, parboil 5 minutes in shell) or defrosted shelled edamame or lima beans
1/2 cup dry white wine or chicken stock
3 tablespoons butter
1 pound egg tagliatelle, Del Verde brand or other wide-cut pasta
1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped
Grated Parmigiano-Reggiano or Pecorino Romano, for topping
Yields: 4 servings

Preparation
Into a large bowl, scrape corn off the cobs as well as the cobs themselves for their sweet, starchy juices. Heat a large skillet over medium heat and bring a large pot of water to a boil for the pasta. Add EVOO to the hot skillet and add pancetta or bacon. Cook to render fat and crisp, 3-4 minutes. Add corn and juices, and stir to combine. Season with salt and pepper, and cook corn 3-4 minutes. Add peppers, onions and garlic; stir 5 minutes more. Add fava, edamame or lima beans and deglaze pan with wine or stock. Stir in butter and reduce heat to low. Salt boiling water and cook pasta to al dente. Add 1 cup starchy cooking water to the creamy corn succotash. Drain pasta, toss with corn and parsley, top with cheese.

First of all, doesn't this seem a tad...moribund? Corn AND beans AND pasta all together just sounds so heavy. I'm all for the fresh corn and beans and suspect that this combination may possibly blend the correct amino acids to create a complete protein -- although I'm not positive on that), but I'd more likely use canned black or chili beans.

Here is the Hakuna Fritatta Improved Version.

Warm Corn and Bean Salad with Ham

4 ears of corn, kernels scraped into a bowl
¼ pound sliced ham or Canadian bacon, julienned
1 small yellow onion, chopped
3 or 4 cloves garlic, finely minced
2 Serrano chiles, seeded and finely chopped
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
pinch of dried thyme leaves
1 14 ounce can of black or chili beans, rinsed and drained
8 ounces cherry tomatoes, halved
½ cup dry white wine or chicken stock
5 Tbs butter, divided
olive oil
bag of baby spinach leaves or Romain-based salad mix
Parmesan cheese
handful of Italian parsley, chopped

Heat 1 Tbs olive oil and butter in a cast iron pan over medium heat. Add onions and saute for a minute or two and then stir in the garlic and chiles. Season with salt and pepper. Continue to saute until onions are transparent, about 5 minutes. Add ham and continue to saute mixture until the meat is heated through and begins to stick to the pan. Deglaze the pan with the wine or chicken stock, scraping up any stuck bits. Add the corn along with any collected juices and drained beans and butter. Reduce heat to medium low and simmer until the liquids are reduced by half.

To serve, place salad mix on serving dishes and top with a ladle of corn mixture. Top with tomatoes, scallions and shaved cheese.

Variation for the carbohydrate-addicted:

Okay, if you hate the green, don't use it. Instead, cook 8 ounces of whole wheat penne rigate until al dente. Omit the beans but otherwise, simply stir the corn mixture into the pasta, adding some reserved pasta water in case it seems dry.

Not moribund enough, you say? Go ahead and put the beans back in and stir 4 ounces of goat cheese into the hot pasta.

Other possibilities:

Instead of just dumping in the scraped corn kernels, grill the whole husked cobs either on an outdoor grill or inside on a grill pan until nicely charred. Allow cobs to cool so that you can touch them, then scrape the kernels and continue as above.

You could add all sorts of substitutions and additions with this. For example, peas and caramelized mushrooms. Substitute shredded roasted chicken or browned Italian-style turkey sausage for the ham.

Update:

Did some checking and according to this page, a grain combined with a legume should form a complete protein.

The Rachael Ray Ingredient Permutationizer© Successfully Reverse Engineered

2011-01-18T12:57:00.000-08:00

Or, how to publish 100 cookbooks without actually creating anything new.

Lemmings and generally clueless people everywhere commonly express amazement at Rachael Ray's prolificness in publishing book after book. "How does she come up with all these ideas?" they muse.

Various theories have been suggested, such as:

She throws darts at a dartboard that has ingredients named in the various sections

She has a list of ingredients written on little slips of paper and randomly pulls them out of a hat

She extracts them from her nether orifice

I have come to the conclusion that the correct answer is none of the above. Nope, the correct answer is that she uses a tool I have dubbed the Ingredient Permutationizer©.

Here is the formula:
(C/2) * (C-1) * F1 * F2 * M * Ch = T

Where
C = number of classic dishes from various cuisines

F1 = format of a dish (ie, soup, stoup, stew, burger, slider, mac n cheese, lasagna, salad, sammie, etc)

F2 = some ethnic cuisine as characterized by presence of an item supposedly representative of that dish (ie, curry powder = Indian, oregano = Italian, mint = Greek, soy sauce = “Asian,” smoked paprika = Hungarian, cumin or chipotle = Mexican, etc)

M = meat item (or mushrooms, for “vegetarian" dishes) strip steak, chicken breasts, ground beef, veal, pork, turkey, etc)

Ch = some kind of cheese

T = total number of dishes possible

Try it yourself, kids! You too can become a published "author."

Southwestern Monte Cristos, anyone?

Content vs. Pages

2011-01-17T17:14:00.000-08:00

Now, don't get me wrong -- I loves me some Nigella. Everything she makes looks fantastic and accessible. I've tried several of her recipes and they all turn out well. Her Lemon Risotto is a particular fave.

I recently made a few from the copy of Nigella Bites that I checked out of my local library and I could not help noticing that the book seemed awfully heavy on pretty pix of Nigella cooking and eating. Then I noticed the glossy paper (necessary for making the food appear sexy, I guess). Then I noticed that the percentage of these pages seemed awfully high.

Between the pages reserved for "notes" and the food porn shots, I calculated that 144 of the 244 pages in this book could have been left out. This would leave the reader with the same amount of useful content, but paying a lower price.

I had long ago noticed the same thing about Giada de Laurentiis' books. I had Everyday Italian and did a similar count. Since Food Network relies so heavily on Giada's alleged "sensuality," (cough) I expected to unearth a similar discrepancy between the number of pages and hard content. Even though both books had nearly the same number of pages, Giada's book only had 100 pages of essentially useless content. I was rather surprised.

That said, even though I believe that the publishers are padding these titles for all they're worth, the recipes contained therein are still tasty, easily prepared. I just wish the puppet masters would realize that we aren't as dumb as they seem to think we are.

We noticed, Food Network.

I'm baaack...

2010-10-19T20:36:00.001-07:00

Heya kiddies!

I know I've been gone a while but for those of you waiting with bated breath (LOL) I'll be posting again soon. Just had a lot of stuff I had to do for other people and whatnot.

Lime Marinated Pork Tacos

2010-08-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

I had gotten some boneless pork chops on sale the other day. I had only a vague idea what I was going to do with them. I started throwing things together for a marinade and this was the result. I thought it turned out surprisingly well and very close to taco truck fodder.

Lime Marinated Pork Tacos

1 1\4 pounds boneless center cut pork chops
juice of 3 limes
1 Tbs olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
1\2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1\2 tsp ground cumin
1 Tbs minced garlic
taco sized flour tortillas
sour cream
salsa verde

Combine lime juice, olive oil, salt, pepper, cumin and garlic in a zippable plastic bag. Squish ingredients together in the bag to distribute. Add pork chops and marinate at least 2 hours, turning frequently.

Heat a cast iron frying pan over medium heat. Add another tablespoon olive oil to the pan. Drain marinated pork pieces and sear, about 3 minutes per side. Remove from pan and allow to sit at least 15 minutes before slicing thinly on the diagonal.

Assemble tacos by placing pork strips in the center of the tortilla and cover with salsa and sour cream.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

2010-07-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

...make Lemon Curd!

I made an angel food cake from scratch last night. Now I have a dozen yolks to do something with. Lemon curd seems the perfect solution.

Lemon Curd
Recipe courtesy Mary Maher

Ingredients
1 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons butter
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons egg yolks
1 tablespoon lemon zest
Directions
Combine 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons of butter, 1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon of sugar, and the lemon juice in a medium saucepan. Bring mixture to boil over medium heat.
Blend egg yolks with remaining sugar in a medium bowl, using a whisk. Temper eggs by slowly adding 1/3 of the boiling mixture to the eggs, stirring constantly. Return egg mixture to saucepan, over low heat, and stir the mixture until it boils. Whisk in the lemon zest and remaining butter and remove from the heat.

2010-07-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

I call BS on Sandra Lee having the slllllightest interest in helping people save time. In this video, wherein she makes a "Spring Picnic," she makes some salmon and cucumber sandwiches. I have say that these don't even sound bad, but this "time saving" recipe has you mix up a sandwich filling, then apply it to the inside of a sandwich with a star tip. WTF?? No one in a time crunch will bother, they will simply trowel the filling on the bread.

But wait! There's more!

She tops the slice and filling with cucumbers and a second piece of bread.Then, she uses a cookie cutter to cut the thing into a flower shape. And yes, She must -- must, I tell you -- use the star tip to dot little flowers with more pink filling. Doesn't everyone want to eat a sandwich that looks like a cookie but tastes like salmon and capers?

I ask again: Why is this woman on television?

This is how I would rework this sandwich:

8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 oz pepper smoked salmon, flaked
1 Tbs capers, finely chopped
1\2 cucumber, thinly sliced
4 green onions, thinly chopped, or snipped chives
bread of your choice

Combine cream cheese, capers, salmon and green onions. Spread on 1 piece of bread. Top with cucumber slices, then with a second piece of bread.

Do not bring pastry tips, star or otherwise, anywhere the prep area. Remove the crusts if you feel like being fancy.

Is it Spring Yet?

2010-06-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Sigh...

There are many things I love about the North West. The green, the water...the rain? Not so much. It seems as though it's rained every day since November. Will it stop long enough for my herb garden to sprout?

So, while I complain about the absence of dry, I think I'll snuggle up with a good book and a steaming bowl of my own soup. So much better than anything out of a can!

This is my version of Ellie Krieger's Beef Soup with Barley and Mushrooms in The Food You Crave.

1 lb chuck steak or stew meat, cut into 1\2 inch cubes
1 onion, diced
2 carrots, diced
2 stalks of celery, diced
8 oz mushrooms (I used creminis), roughly chopped
3 cloves of garlic, minced
8 c beef stock
1 15 oz can of diced tomatoes
1\2 c pearl barley
1\2 tsp dried thyme
olive oil
salt and pepper

Season meat with salt and pepper. Brown in olive oil and remove to a plate or bowl. Add another Tbs or so of olive oil and saute the onion and mushrooms for a few minutes, or until soft. Add carrots, celery and garlic and saute a few minutes more. Add tomatoes and stir to deglaze the pan. Sit in broth, barley and thyme.

Bring to a boil then cover and reduce heat to a gentle simmer. Cook until the meat and barley are tender, about an hour. Season to taste.

"IThis cheese had the flavor of a prison riot.."

2010-06-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Over on the Salon Food page, Francis Lam has recently posted a witty take on the "joy" of fromage fort. Or maybe not.

I hate to admit this (as someone with a food-related blog) but I'm not really all that adventurous an eater. Although I've tried a lot of things that many other people wouldn't consider eating, I think Tony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern and Michael Ruhlman would be terribly disappointed to take me to dinner.

That being said, however, I don't care how damn much garlic you put on a snail, I'm not eating one. As a NW girl I've stepped barefoot on far too many slugs, and far too vividly remember that odd and disgusting combination of slime and crunch to want anything to do with gastropods on any level.

There are a good many cheeses I would not approach. Shortly after meeting Daniele and attempting to make the sort of food he hadn't had access to in years, I bought some proscuitto and gongonzola to make panini out of.

Let's just say I'd had a little too much chardonnay that evening. When I got up the next morning I checked in the fridge and saw a leftover sandwich. Thinking it was something my kid had made and then changed his mind on, I took a bite. The gagging stopped when I spit it out.

Daniele was puzzled. "But you ate it last night and said you liked it." Ahh, the amazing power of love. Or cheap wine from Ernest & Julioville.

"Jesus," I muttered rhetorically. "How drunk did I have to have to be to eat that?"

Something tells me that neither fromage fort nor gorgonzola and I have any possibility of a future together.

Curtis Stone

2010-06-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

Not sure why, but his name barely registered when I hit a link to his rib recipe on AOL this morning. Ribs sounded good, in a rather primal carnivoreish kind of way. His recipe and the accompanying video seemed okay enough, but the one that really grabbed me was his Avocado-Tomato-Mozarella Panini with Pesto. Sort of a margherita pizza but with avocados added.

I will definitely have to make this.

One From the Vaults

2010-05-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

This is one of the very first recipes I ever wrote. I won't vouch for it at this point, because it's been more than 30 years since the last time I made it. The proportions sound about right, but since I don't bake like this anymore, who knows?

Punk's Impeachment Cake

2 c sugar
1 c butter or margarine, softened
2 tsp vanilla
4 eggs
1 1\2 c milk
4 c flour
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 c chopped walnuts, if desired

Cream together sugar and butter or margarine. Add vanilla and eggs one at a time. Combine dry ingredients and add to the butter/egg mixture alternately with milk.Stir in nuts. Pour batter into a greased and floured tube pan. Bake at 350 for 50-60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Allow cake to rest in the pan at least 15 minutes, then remove to a cooling rack.

When completely cool, top with Chocolate Watergate Cover-up Sauce (alas, the recipe for the sauce has been lost to the sands of time. In its absence, top with ganache).

Spaghetti with Salmon and Spinach

2010-05-16T17:03:00.000-07:00

This is my variation on a recipe from Salon's recipe challenge The best recipes from your mothers.

Sueinaz wrote a charming story about cooking with her crotchety grandmother. I thought the recipe sounded fantastic, but my honey doesn't like shellfish of any stripe or spinach. I planned on using the spinach anyway, since I knew it would ne nothing like the spinach his (and my mother) used to make. It would be bright green and attractive. Unlike Sue's recipe, however, I used a bag of fresh baby spinach and therefore did not have to bother squeezing the water out. I just stemmed it and put it in the bottom of the colander. Worked like a charm.

This dish was easy, elegant, delicious and fairly healthy. It doesn't get any better than that, kids!

Spaghetti with Salmon and Spinach

8 oz spaghetti
1 lb skinned salmon fillet, cut into 4 portions
1 10 oz bag fresh baby spinach, stemmed (of course, if you love stems, leave 'em on. I don't)
1\2 c buttter (but realistically, you could get away with using half and I bet it would still be fantastic)
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
juice and zest of 1 lemon
1\2 roasted red peppers, chopped
1\4 c white wine
1\4 chopped flat leaf parsley (basil would also work well)
salt and pepper

Heat a large port of salted water for pasta and add pasta when it boils. While the water heats, melt butter in a skillet. Add onions and cook until translucent. Add garlic and continue to cook another minute or so. Season salmon with salt and pepper on each side. Add salmon fillets to pan and cook 3 or so minutes on each side. Set aside. Place stemmed spinach in the bottom of a colander. When pasta is al dente drain over the spinach. Remove to a large serving dish and add lemon juice and zest and stir to combine. Add peppers.

To serve, place pasta mixture on a dish and place a fillet on top. Sprinkle a bit of the chopped parsley for garnish.

Pasta Salad with Tuna, Tomato and Artichokes

2010-04-20T12:06:00.001-07:00

It took a long time before it occurred to me to eat an artichoke and now I love them. One of my favorite take and bake pizza joints had a creamy garlic chicken pizza that featured artichokes, olives and a creamy white garlic sauce. I had to order it with the ‘chokes on the side because the kids didn’t care for them.

Not long after that epiphany I discovered the tuna/artichoke combination in panini and it quickly became another favorite. Last night I was craving those flavors but felt like something a little different. What I ended up doing was combining a couple of diced tomatoes (vine-ripened in your own back yard would really shine in this), sliced black olives, a couple cans of tuna, a small jar of marinated artichoke hearts adding it to some whole wheat penne. It was fantastic.

Honey told me that I had made a Roman pasta salad without even realizing it. He said a dish like this would be eaten cold. I had it hot for dinner last night and cold this morning for breakfast and I thought it was fabulous both ways. It was quick, easy, delicious; light yet extremely satisfying.

I imagine that Italian tuna packed in olive oil would be fantastic too, but I’ve never seen it in any of the stores I normally shop at. Not even Trader Joe’s!

Pasta Salad with Tuna, Tomato and Artichokes

6 ounces whole wheat penne

2 6 ounce cans of oil-packed tuna, drained

1 small jar marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped

3 tomatoes, diced

1\2 c sliced black olives

3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped

3 Tbs olive oil

1\2 c Parmesan cheese

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Cook penne according to package instructions. As the pasta cooks, combine tuna, tomatoes, artichoke hearts, olives, garlic, olive oil and salt and pepper in a large bowl. Drain pasta and add to the bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Toss and grate cheese over the top.

I won't presume to tell you how many servings you'll have, but Daniele and I both had seconds and leftovers for breakfast.

Fish Tacos with Black Beans, Avocado and Chipotle Cream

2010-03-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've never had commercially prepared fish tacos in all their batter-dipped, deep-fried glory. I love the idea of them but just haven't sought them out. And I rarely deep fry anything at home. My reason is that it makes a big mess that I'd rather not clean up and uses a ton of oil. (The Brat decided last Wednesday that I wasn't home soon enough to suit him and so he breaded some chicken and deep fried it using most of my brand new bottle of olive oil -- just wrong on so many levels).

This is my easier and healthier version than anything deep fried; the title is pretty much the directions.

Fish Tacos with Black Beans, Avocado and Chipotle Cream

For the Chipotle Cream:
2 chipotle peppers from a small can in adobo sauce, minced
1\2 c sour cream

Stir together and set aside.

For the fish:
1 lb tilapia fillets
3 limes
3 Tbs olive oil
salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 15 oz can black beans, rinsed and drained
2 avocados, diced
flour tortillas

Zest and juice the limes and place in a re-sealable plastic bag or flat dish. Add salt, pepper and olive oil and shake to combine. Add the fillets. Marinate for 30-60 minutes. Drain marinade. Heat a skillet over medium heat and cook the fillets approximately 3 minutes on each side. Remove from heat and flake.

To assemble: Warm tortillas and place some of the beans, flaked fish, avocado and chipotle cream. Wrap as for a burrito.

Variation: Should the avocado and sour cream be a little too creamy, feel free to substitute diced tomatoes for the avocado.

Serves 4.

A Bread Machine is a Many-Spendoured Thang

2010-03-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

It never would have occurred to me to get one but then my pal Margaret sent me my bread machine one year for my birthday. I went through an initial spate of bread-making, but that sort of slacked off when the first blush faded.

Then I hooked up with Daniele and he went rather nuts with it. He adores that thing and makes bread nearly every day. Everything he produces vanishes almost immediately. We bake so much bread that we've started buying flour in 25 pound bags and yeast by the pound. Even at this rate, neither lasts very long.

I don't really do that much whole wheat but may add it occasionally. Maybe it's just me, but when I do whole wheat it always comes out like a brick, even if I add more yeast (never acquired my grandmother's way with pie crust, either). I do like to use unbleached, however.

Here is our standard recipe, with handing tips for scrumptious focaccia. I used to bake a lot by hand, but having the machine speeds up the process so much that I rarely do it that way anymore. This recipe is written for using the machine. If anyone prefers to do it by hand, I can tweak it for that method.

Focaccia

1c water approximately 100-110 degrees (I find that 55 seconds in the microwave is exactly right)
1 tsp salt
1 Tbs sugar
1 Tbs liquid fat of your choice (we mainly use olive oil, but one could just as easily use melted butter or margarine, vegetable oil, etc)
3 cups of flour
1 1\2 Tbs granular yeast
additional olive oil
kosher salt
1 Tbs or so chopped fresh rosemary leaves (take it easy, the stuff is delicious but pungent)

In the bread machine's mixer bowl, place water, salt, sugar, fat and flour. Sprinkle yeast evenly on top. Set machine to the dough setting and let 'er rip. When the dough cycle has completed (1 hour 20 minutes on our machine) shape as follows:

Pound the dough down a bit and knead, adding small amounts of flour as needed until not sticky and has a satiny feel. Coat a 15 x 10 baking sheet with olive oil. Spread dough out to cover the baking sheet. Pour a small amount (tablespoon or so) of olive oil over the top and spread over all with a pastry brush. With the top narrow end of a wooden spoon, poke holes all over the top. Sprinkle over the kosher salt and chopped rosemary. Allow dough to rise 30 minutes or so, until it seems somewhat puffy. Bake at 375 for approximately 20 minutes.

And since my pal from Salon, B&G, requested, here is the method for doing it by hand!

In a large bowl combine 1 cup of flour, the salt, sugar and yeast. Heat the water to the appropriate temperature (check with a thermometer) and add fat. Add liquid to the flour, mix well. Add the remaining flour, a bit at a time, until the dough pulls cleanly away from the sides of the bowl. Plop dough onto a clean floured surface and continue kneading and adding small amounts of flour until dough is smooth and elastic.

Place dough in a greased bowl and cover with a towel or plastic wrap. Put in a warm, draft-free place until doubled -- about 1 1\2 hours. Return dough to a floured surface, punch down and knead again to remove air bubbles. place in prepared pan and shape as directed above.

Rachael Ray 2.0 (Yet More Food Network Propaganda)

2010-03-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

Wow, yet another person who culls recipes from others and then publishes a cookbook. Puh-leeze. By the way, Katie, I notice none of those books on your shelf are of any particular heft.

Food Network proves once more that their channel is not about food or information, it's about a "personality" who translates well onto camera. For me, this simply translates into one more reason not to watch.

Apt comparisons to RR will be enumerated later. Looks as though she may be getting a bit long in the tooth for FN.

Although I will say that I'm glad it turns out "Lee" is her surname and not part of her given name. Phew.

Stolen!

2010-03-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

I can't freaking believe it. My panini press has been stolen! We started keeping certain things likely to disappear in the bedroom. This was determined after losing items such as an Ipod, camera, cash, cigarettes. We kept the panini press in there because The Brat would use it and never clean it after he used it. So when I wanted to use it, it smelled disgusting and was filled with rotting cheese.

Anyhoo, we decided to keep it in the bedroom, along with saltines and a bag of sugar (diabetic boy doesn't need any of those).

The panini maker was being used quite a bit, so Honey decided to put it in the trunk of the car. Somehow, it has disappeared. WTF?? Who the hell is going to steal a sandwich press? I mean, if you're a tweaker looking for something to turn into cash, why not also steal the jack that was worth more than the sandwich press?

OTOH, now I don't have to wash it any more.

Stuffed Chicken with Rosemary Polenta

2010-03-06T14:09:00.000-08:00

I ran across this recipe in the current issue of Sunset magazine while waiting in line at the grocery store today. I think I have nearly everything I need to make it except the cheese and fresh spinach. LOL Honey tells me that Gouda is a perfectly acceptable substitute for Val d'Aosta fontina. Of course he also instructed me to make it with peppers instead of spinach. Ha!

Today's Egg-speriment

2010-02-27T15:10:00.000-08:00

Lately we've been going through so many eggs that I have started getting them in boxes of 5 dozen. Between The Brat scrambling his eggs in sausage, omelets and frittati they don't really last all that long. This was today's effort.

My favorite bell peppers are the orange and yellow ones, but feel free to use whatever you like. Some sausage would be pretty good in this, too.

Frittata with Mushroom, Tomato and Bell Peppers

1 Tbs olive oil
1 Tbs butter
1 smallish onion, chopped
2 large cloves of garlic, minced
4 oz sliced cremini mushrooms
1 yellow or orange bell pepper, diced
1 large or 2 small Roma tomatoes, cored and chopped
8 eggs
splash of milk or cream
1\2 c grated Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper
couple tablespoons chopped flat leaf parsley

Heat oven to 400. Heat a cast iron frying pan and add oil and butter. When the butter has melted add onions and season with salt and pepper. Cook over low heat until onions become translucent. Add garlic and stir a bit. Add mushroom and add another tablespoon or so of butter if the pan looks dry. When the mushrooms are soft add the peppers and tomatoes. Continue to cook gently until all the vegetables are warmed through..

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl whisk eggs and milk. Blend in the cheese. Pour on top of the vegetables in the pan. Cook without stirring under low heat until it seems that the bottom is mostly set (top will still be runny). Place into the pre-heated oven and bake for 15 minutes or so, until the top is set. Sprinkle more grated Parmesan and parsley on top. Cut into wedges and serve immediately.

6 servings

OMG I'm Mortified!

2010-02-27T12:20:00.001-08:00

I just discovered that I spelled "frittata" wrong in my blog title.

*hanging head in shame*

How food television is changing America

2010-02-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

How food television is changing America

Why in the name of bleeding Jesus do we need yet another food channel from Scripps, the people responsible for running Food Network into the ground? They have so little content as it is that shows are shown over and over and over.

My primary gripe with FN these days is that they have long since stopped being about information and became much more interested in "big personalities" and cleavage than actually imparting any knowledge. Their choice of on air "talent" (and I use the term ironically) tells the story. Look what they've done to Guy Fieri (nee Ferry), Paula Deen and so on. They no longer are themselves, they are overdrawn ridiculous cartoons of themselves.

One thing the data does not show is how many people are watching purely for the snark factor. I'll watch Sandra Lee occasionally because she's always good for an (unintentional) laugh. I'm never quite sure how ludicrous her next concoction will be. Let us never forget, though, that "cocktail time is the best time of the day!" It isn't for nothing that she is often referred to as "Aunt Drunky."

And Rachael Ray -- how many burgers does the world need? How many permutations of mac and cheese? How many classic deli sandwiches thrown into a pot of chicken stock for a "stoup?"

I've been so alienated by FN clearly setting their sights on people who have yet to complete a middle school Home Ec lass that I doubt they could ever get me back for anything other than an occasional laugh at the misinformation and unsafe food handling they are modeling.

FN has one consideration for selecting their hosts and it has to do with marketing or endorsing products of which they will get a cut. They don't care in the slightest about imparting any actualy knowledge to their veiwers.

Spring is on the Way!

2010-02-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah, I know. Record amounts of snowfall in the unlikeliest of places. So how do I know?

That's easy -- Safeway had asparagus on sale for $1.49 a pound yesterday. I love asparagus but don't usually buy it because it's one of those pesky green foods that no one but me will eat and out of season it's just too damned expensive. Anyway, I grabbed a bundle and began salivating as I pondered how best to cook my bounty.

I started with a recipe from the Italian Parmagiano-Reggiano Commission and tweaked it a bit. I think that the earthiness of the mushrooms complements the asparagus very well, and the lemon contributes a tangy brightness that makes for a pleasant contrast. I offered Daniele a bite and he was careful to avoid any hint of green on the fork. Ha.

Here's what I did:

Asparagus with Mushrooms, Pine Nuts and Parmesan

2 Tbs unsalted butter
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 bundle fresh asparagus
8 oz Cremini mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1/4 c pine nuts
1/4 c chopped parsley
bread crumbs from 2 slices of bread (didn't measure but I'm guessing it was around 1/3 to 1/2 c)
shaved Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper
juice and zest of 1 lemon

Melt butter in a skillet over low heat and add the onions. Season with some salt and pepper and cook until soft and transparent, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. While the onions are sweating, snap asparagus to determine where to cut off the stalk. Discard the bottom parts of the stalk and cut the rest into 1 1/2 inch pieces. Add the mushrooms, asparagus and pine nuts and continue cooking about 5 more minutes.

Stir in the lemon juice and parsley. Place on a serving dish and top with bread crumbs and shaved cheese.

Serves 4 as a side dish.

Angel Hair Pasta with Sausage, Shallot and Shroom

2010-02-12T06:44:00.000-08:00

It gets a little tiring to constantly look for new and inventive ways to feed my men food that is good for them. They don't like onions, they don't like green things, they don't like seafood. Well, The Brat likes fish sticks, but that isn't really seafood, is it?

This is the pasta dish I made last night for dinner. The kid didn't touch it (he opted to nuke some Banquet frozen chicken), but Daniele had seconds.

Note regarding Parmagiano-Reggiano:
Many chefs specify Parmagiano-Reggiano cheese in their recipes. They claim that nothing else can come close to its nutty flavor. I'm not so sure about that. Call me a philistine but I've had the real P-R and I don't see that the taste really warrants the $35 per pound price tag -- not when there are many acceptable alternatives that are far cheaper. My local Safeway has begun to carry a domestic parmesan cheese for $3.99 per pound. Since the mystyique of Parmagiano-Reggiano is essentially a marketing ploy developed by the Consorzio del Formaggio Parmigiano-Reggiano, I don't feel any particular need to buy into it.

Angel Hair Pasta with Sausage, Shallot and Shroom

1 pound angel hair pasta (preferably whole wheat, but don't sweat if you can't find it)
8 ounces Italian sausage
6 shallots, peeled and sliced thinly
2 Tbs butter, divided
3 cloves minced garlic
8 ounces cremini mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1/2 c flat leaf parsley, chopped
grated Parmesan cheese
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Remove sausage from casings and brown in a cast iron frying pan. Remove from pan and add half the butter and the shallots. Season with salt and pepper. Cook over medium low heat until soft, then add the garlic and shrooms. Add the other Tbs of butter if the pan seems dry. Continue to cook until golden and carmelized.

While the shallot mixture is carmelizing, put on a pot of salted water and allow it to come to a boil. Add pasta and cook until al dente, about 5-6 minutes. Drain pasta reserving a cup or so of the water. Return pasta to the pot and stir in the sausage and shallots. Sprinkle the parsley and cheese over the top and toss to combine.

I am unsure how many servings this makes. I've had 3 so far and Daniele had 2. The Kid's friends had probably 3 more and we still have about half of it left.

But it sounded good...

2010-02-07T15:12:00.000-08:00

Really it did. There it was on the back of a box of kosher salt -- Rocco DiSpirito's recipe for chicken breasts with a pomegranate vinaigrette. I don't know, maybe the pomegranate reduction was just a bit too tart. Maybe my olive oil a little too fruity. But overall I have to say the the sauce, which was not cheap to make, BTW, did not add anything to the dish.

I think I may rework it at some point down the road. Perhaps with something citrusy.

Sorry Forbes

2010-02-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

But when you compile a list of the top 10 influential women chefs, and many of them are NOT chefs, let alone actual humans, you lose some credibility.

I Love Leftovers

2010-01-28T17:37:00.000-08:00

My honey Daniele is from Piemonte, Italy. It is a land of rugged farm people making their living at the foot of the Italian Alps. He is fond of telling the story of how a Scot, a Jew and a Genovese got together and discussed being parsimonious. When they saw how very frugal the Piemontese farmer was, they cried for they knew they could never compete.

In that spirit, then, is the recipe for the Spaghetti Pie I made last night out of leftover spaghetti sauce and noodles.

Spaghetti Pie

4 servings worth of leftover cooked spaghetti
3 c spaghetti sauce (I had about 3 cups left over because The Brat refused to eat the spaghetti when he saw that I put a chopped onion and sliced mushrooms in it)
8 ounces grated mozarella cheese
1\2 c grated Parmesan cheese
3 eggs
3 stems fresh basil, leaves cut into chiffonade

Butter (or coat with olive oil) the bottom of a 9" x 13" baking dish. Beat eggs lightly and add Parmesan cheese. Stir into pasta and then place in the baking dish. Place half of the grated mozzarella on top of the pasta. Layer sauce on top of cheese. Sprinkle basil over all and top with remaining cheese.

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or so, until the cheese is bubbing, golden and melty.Makes 9 servings.

Turkey Soup

2010-01-20T15:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, wazzup with the men I live with? Vegetables are anathema. Which exxplains how it is that I made a bitchin' turkey noodle soup with my turkey carcass -- and no one ate any of it except moi. After about a week, I was well sick of it despite its inherent deliciousness. Tired of looking at the pot and attempting to imagine how long it would take me, by myself, to consume a gallon of it, I decided to bundle it up and take it to my mother's house.

I got over there, soup in arm, and told her she could freeze whatever didn't get eaten right away. Then she told me that earlier this week when she went to visit my aunt Sammie, she was also gifted with leftover turkey soup. She was gracious about it, however, and pretended to be pleased.

Turkey Noodle Soup

1 turkey carcass
2 onions, chopped
2 celery ribs (include leafy ends) chopped
1 16 ounce bag of frozen peas and carrots
8 oz pasta of your choice (I'm fond of multi-hued rotini)

Fill a large pot with enough water to cover the carcass. Place over high heat. Upon boilage, reduce heat to low and simmer until the bejesus is cooked out of the meat and it falls off the bone. Turn off heat and allow to cool.

Separate bones from skin and meat. I put the skin in one pile to go in the dog's dish and dispose of the bones. Puppy girl loves me now -- at least until her next bath or manicure. Place meat back in the cooking water and bring back to a simmer.

Place onions and celery in the pot. About 15 minutes prior to serving, add pasta and peas and carrots.

Freeze leftovers.
Servings: small army

More Rockin' Cookware!

2010-01-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

Margaret has been my BFF since 1977. We met in college, when she was friends with my dorm roommate Martha. Martha took off for Seattle one weekend and didn't bother to tell her parents or anyone else where she was. Turned out that she suspected her boyfriend was dumping her and she was apparently stalking him. I guess when she learned that her parents had reported her missing and police interviewed all of us on her floor, Martha was too embarrassed to return to school and we never saw her again.

During her absence, Margaret and I walked over to the dining hall together. I was rather a loner in those days and it never occurred to me that I would be joined for dinner. We picked up our trays and went through the line. I headed for a table and was surprised to see that there was Margaret, placing her tray on the table across from me.

"Oh." I said. "I guess this means you're eating with me."
"Hmpf!," she replied. "I guess it does."

We've been best friends ever since.

I mention Margaret here because she thoughtfully sent me an Amazon gift card for Christmas. I decided that I was tired of using aluminum roasting pans for turkeys and whatnot and wanted something decent.

In a perfect world with unlimited resources I'd opt for something out of solid copper because it conducts heat so beautifully, or possibly compromise with the All-Clad, on sale for "only" $200. Or, given my previously stated fondness for Calphalon, theirs for a mere $127. However, it is not a perfect world, and even if I had all the money in it, I don't really think I could bear to throw it around.

Instead, I opted for a perfectly reasonable alternative, the Oneida roaster with a rack and non-stick finish, for less than $50. The pan arrived yesterday and is worlds away from the crummy foil pans. It is beautiful and durable and cleaned up very nicely. I think I'll be using it for a long time to come. Its inaugural use was as follows:

8 skin on, bone-in chicken thighs
6 Roma tomatoes, innards removed and quartered vertically
3 smallish zucchini, cut approximately the same size as the tomatoes
1 fennel bulb, thinly sliced
3 largish cloves garlic, chopped
1 spring of fresh rosemary, chopped

Coat the chicken with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Place in pan and roast at 350 for 20 minutes.

In the meantime, place vegetables in a large bowl and coat with olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic. Toss. Add to roasting pan with the chicken. Sprinkle rosemary over all. Roast for another 20 minutes.

My Burger Bash Entry

2010-01-16T11:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm not entirely sure what possessed me. Maybe it was the thought that as a winner I would get airfare for 2 to Miami and last winter, when we had unseasonable amounts of snow and ice, and that sounded really attractive. Oh, if I'd won I had not the slightest intention of attending the SoBe Wine and Food Festival and cooking alongside Rachael Ray. No, I would have elected to spend my weekend on the beach soaking up some melanoma.

With that thought uppermost, I actually decided to devise a burger recipe for the much-hyped Burger Bash. Not that I think the world really needs another burger. Frankly I do not believe that one really needs more than a nicely grilled patty, salt and pepper, mayo, tomato, lettuce and a bun. My favorite was those slipping apart beauties at the now-defunct Portland restaurant Yaw's. But what the hey.

I didn't think my recipe was all that bad. A little different, a little weird, but it was surprisingly okay. The rules indicated that you were limited to 10 ingredients. If I had realized that salt and pepper didn't count, it would have turned out a bit differently.

What tortured amalgam of unlikely and seemingly incompatible foods could be thrown together ala Rach? Given her penchant for odd ethnic food pairings I finally hit on it: a cassoulet burger. But how could this complex, time-consuming dish be converted into a burger?

It wasn't really that much trouble. I googled many recipes and saw that the primary flavors were sausage and garlic. The Alsatian Cassoulet recipe I used as a starting point featured cabbage, apples, shallots and beer. In view of the 10 ingredient rule, including garnish, the most challenging aspect was to capture the essential flavors without going over the allowed number of ingredients.

I ended up with what I called the Aslatian Cassoulet Burger. Despite my best efforts to create something that looked as if it had been pulled straight out of the culinarily-warped mind of Rachael Ray the recipe wasn't half bad. Tasty, even. It included a patty made from turkey sausage and a topping made of shallots, sliced tart apple, vinegar and canned white beans.

The day for notification of winninghood came and went without me hearing that the judging panel adored my recipe and couldn't wait for me to go cook it alongside Rach. Can't really say that I was either surprised or disappointed, as I couldn't quite picture myself performing the requisite tongue-biting and brown-nosing that would be necessary in order to follow through with the ordeal.

However, many an eyebrow was raised around here when a very similar recipe turned up on one of RR's sites. I couldn't exactly say that she ripped me off, especially since she left out poor old Granny Smith, but one is nonetheless left with an impression that this "contest," if not fixed, was promoted mainly to provide RR with ideas, of which a dearth burgeons daily. Harumpf!

At any rate, since Roachie-poo won't be featuring my recipe in her eponymous rag and I have not released copyright to it, here it is! Of course, it isn't exactly swimming in oil and cheese like your standard Rachipe, but it is different, creatively used the allowed number of items, was filling, high protein and low fat. Oh, no wonder it didn't win.

Alsatian Cassoulet Burgers

1 ½ lbs turkey sausage
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 large shallots, thinly sliced
1 large tart apple such as Granny Smith or Gravenstein, peeled, cored and thinly sliced
3 Tbs vegetable oil
1 ½ c beef stock, dry white wine or beer
1 15 oz can of navy or Great Northern beans, drained and rinsed
¼ c cider vinegar
4 crushed wheat hamburger buns, toasted

Combine sausage and garlic and shape into 4 equal patties. Refrigerate until ready to cook.

Heat vegetable oil in a medium sized skillet. When hot, add onions and apples. Sauté a few minutes and reduce heat to low. Cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, approximately 10 minutes. Raise heat to medium high, then deglaze the pan with the stock, wine or beer. Bring to a boil and add beans and cider vinegar. Lower heat to medium and cook until liquid is nearly all gone, about another 10 minutes.

While the apple mixture is reducing, fry sausage patties in a cast iron pan. Cook until juices run clear, 5-6 minutes per side. Remove from pan and drain on paper towels, if necessary. Place on bottom half of bun. Top with apple mixture and bun top.

No Food Network!!! How Will I Livvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve????

2010-01-10T19:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/01/cablevision_drops_food_network.html

Um, sorry, but if some people cannot live without a thousandth repeat of Rachael Ray and Sandra Lee doing stuff that wasn't appetizing in the first place. why don't they just kill themselves now?

Seriously. Put yourselves out of your misery. Food Network has nothing of value in the first place (perhaps, once upon a time they did, but those days are long gone), let alone content that's worth double what they charged Cablevision in the past.

I admit I used to watch Alton Brown on Good Eats whenever I could because I loved the way he made the science aspect of food fun and approachable. Alas, now I have grown a bit weary of his shtick.

And I used to watch Giada de Laurentiis because her food looked appetizing, simple and easy to prepare. I've made several of her recipes and all were a hit at home. But when I read an interview with her where she dissed her colleagues as "boring" and said that "sexiness and sensuality" were what she "brought to the table," she lost me. Honey if I want to look at cleavage all I need to do is look down. No TeeVee required.

Word to Food Network: stop with the foodgasms already.

Merry Christmas, Solstice, Channukah, Festivus, Kwanzaa, Etc.

2009-12-25T12:37:00.000-08:00

Phew! Somehow I managed to get up early enough to clean up the mess my kid left in the kitchen, wash dishes, do 3 loads of laundry and still make the food I planned on taking to my mother's house for dinner: my take on deviled eggs and a batch of sugar cookie dough for my brother.I've been making the same recipe for about 40 years. Why screw around with perfection?

The first time I made my brother a batch of cookie dough for Christmas it was clearly appreciated. That year, he brought the bag o' dough with him and gobbled it up as we drove to my father's mother's house in Vernonia, Oregon. We didn't see a lot of her and she was always "Minnie" to us, never "Grandma."

As I walked through her doorway she shouted "Janet! Honey! Here, have a beer." I was 15.

My Favorite Sugar Cookies

This was originally from The Pillsbury Cookbook: The All-Purpose Companion for Today's Cook. It is maddeningly lacking in bibliographic data but must have been published between the mid- to late 60's (prior to the ISBN era). My copy is so beyond dog-eared that even the Great Duct Tape Repair of 1993 is falling apart.

The trick to sugar cookies is to handle the dough as little as possible and keep it cold while you aren't working it. If it warms up in your hands (and it will) put it back in the frig.

I'm lucky in that I have my fabulous KitchenAid mixer now, but before that for many years prior I would combine the dry ingredients and cut in the butter with a pastry blender until mealy. It was a lot of work but the results were fine.

3 C flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 C sugar
1 C butter, room temperature
1 egg
3 Tbs cream
1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine dry ingredients and set aside. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add egg, cream and vanilla and stir just until combined.

Gradually add flour mixture until dough pulls away from the side of the mixing bowl. Chill dough for at least an hour before proceeding.

Divide dough in half and roll out into a sheet 3/8" thick. Cut into desired shape with a cookie cutter. Bake at 400 degrees for 6 minutes. Allow to cool about 1 minute before removing from cookie sheet to a cooling rack. Decorate as desired.

Variation: If you're not particularly into rolling out dough an alternative method which has given me good results is to shape the chilled dough into 2 logs approximately 14 inches long and roll the logs in either powdered or granulated sugar. Cover logs with aluminum foil or plastic wrap and chill again. Cut into roughly 3/8 slices and bake as directed above.

Makes about 3 dozen.

Deviled Eggs alla Giovanna

12 peeled hard boiled eggs
1/2 C mayonnaise
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp wasabi paste (I had planned on using some horseradish but could not find it. Be careful with this stuff, it's HOT!)
1 tsp white wine vinegar
1/2 tsp or so fresh ground black pepper
cayenne pepper for dusting
1/4 C chopped pepperoncini
1-2 tsp juice from the jar of pepperoncini, to taste

Cut eggs in half and place yolks in a medium bowl. Mash with a fork until crumbly. Add mayo, dijon, wasabi paste, vinegar, pepperoncini juice and black pepper. Taste for seasonings and adjust as desired.

Spoon yolk mixture into the egg white halves. Dust with cayenne and top each with approximately 1/4 tsp of the chopped pepperoncini. Refrigerate until serving time.

Makes 24 pieces.

Tip: to hard boil the eggs, place in single layer in a large sauce pan. Cover with cold water and bring to a simmer over low heat. Place a lid on the pan and turn off heat. Allow it to sit on the burner for 15 minutes. Drain and rinse with cold water until eggs are cool. Peel.

It's That Time of Year Kiddies!

2009-12-16T12:10:00.000-08:00

...for the abomination known as Sandra Lee's "Kwanzaa Cake House of Horrors."

What is it with Food Network "celebrities" and their need to bastardize every culture on the planet?

Corn Nuts?? On a cake???

Come on. Who in their right mind would eat this?

Fettucine with Sage and Brown Butter Sauce

2009-12-14T16:43:00.000-08:00

Photo by Robin Bellinger

This fettucine with brown butter sauce recipe was from the wonderfully creative folks over at Serious Eats. Sounded great to me because not only is it cheap, I've just completed some rather extensive oral surgery and while I love sugar free instant pudding and soup I know I'll get sick of them before I can deal with other stuff.

I mentioned this recipe to my Italian honey (sage is "salvia" in Italian) so that's what I told him is in it. His eyes lit up and I knew I'd stumbled over a winner.

Thought I'd mention that to add some color, I tossed a few chopped Roma tomatoes into the cooked pasta. Think of this as a blank canvas upon which one may create any number of masterpieces.

Pasta with Brown Butter and Sage

-serves 4-
Ingredients

1 pound pasta, preferably fettucine
Salt
4-6 tablespoons unsalted butter
8 sage leaves
Pepper
Pecorino romano or parmigiano to finish

Procedure

1. Cook the pasta in a large pot of well salted boiling water. When it is done, set aside about a quarter cup of the cooking water and then drain the pasta. Remove it to a serving bowl

2. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. It's best if the saucepan has a light-colored bottom so you can watch the butter darken. After the foam subsides, watch the butter carefully. When it begins to go from golden to a light caramel color (and begins to smell more interesting and delicious), drop in the sage leaves and toss them around a bit. Remove from the heat.

3. Right away, swirl a little of the reserved cooking water into the pasta in case it is sticking together. Then pour the butter over the pasta and toss to coat. Grind over some pepper and grate over some cheese.

There's a Reason There is no Blue Food in Nature

2009-12-08T12:48:00.000-08:00

The pic says it all and is copied from the Rachael Ray fan board on her web site. Yes folks, this is the demographic RR and Food Network are hitting on. My question is how do these people have the intellectual wherewithal to have money to buy every RR product being hawked on the FN store page? *shakes head*

Although oddly enough, I suddenly feel the urge to make some conventional deviled eggs. I'll use the recipe from The Gourmet Cookbook.

Calphalon Still Rocks

2009-11-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

I love my new omelet pan. There is no other way to say it. Crack 3 eggs, shimmy it around the burner. Throw some stuff on, fold it sideways onto a plate...voila you have a 3 egg omelet.

My very fave so far...3 eggs, some chunked up dry smoked pepper salmon, about an ounce worth of chunked cream cheese and a couple of chopped green onions.

All I can now say is...I have died and gone to heaven.

My Favorite Thanksgiving Memory

2009-11-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

(cross posted to my other blog InkPaperWords and OpenSalon)

This was several years ago, when I was a single mom with 2 kids living outside Albuquerque. I wasn't making much but AOL, my employer at the time, was handing out turkeys to employees. So I picked up mine and straightaway began dreaming of all the leftovers I would make out of this huge sucker -- turkey sandwiches, turkey pot pie, turkey mole enchiladas...

My younger brat was just a toddler then (he's 16 now), and had a bad habit of leaving doors (front entry, back yard, refrigerator, whatever, it didn't matter to him). The big day came and went and the three of us feasted. The carcass was summarily parked in the frig to be attended to later.

Later that afternoon, I came into the kitchen and discovered the refrigerator door open. I knew who the culprit was. As I went to close the door, I noticed the turkey was not in the frig. We had 2 dogs at the time and I can just envision the scene:

Brat leaves door open, dogs discover turkey. Dogs drag carcass to the backyard, where they proceeded to have their own Thanksgiving feast.

All that remained of my hopes and dreams for leftovers was naught but a grease spot on the tile floor in front of the refrigerator.

Turkey Day ... and Beyond

2009-11-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

I hadn't planned on doing a turkey since my mom invited us over to her place for ham. I ended up getting one anyway because I love turkey and besides -- they're on sale! I love the leftovers and salivate whilst dreaming about them.

Today I roasted the bird. Wasn't terribly sure what I'd do with it. The last few years I've been intrigued by both the brining and deep frying concepts, but both seem like I'd have to go get specialized equipment and I don't want to bother. As for the deep frying, I don't even deep fry chicken because it A) makes a mess and B) uses too much oil.

Anyhoo, here's what I did. I started with a mash up of Ina Garten's recipe for alleged "Perfect Roast Turkey" and Giada de Laurentiis' citrus-stuffed bird. Except I had grapefruit, not oranges and did not feel like making a special trip to the store. So I quartered half the grapefruit, a lemon and onion and halved a head of garlic to stuff the cavity.

Then I rubbed olive oil over the outside and made a rub of salt, pepper, chilè con limón, oregano and cayenne. It smelled like grocery store barbecue rotisserie chicken while it was roasting. End result: moist, juicy meat, flavorful crispy skin. I can hardly wait for the enchiladas!

Oh, and about Mom's -- Honey whipped up some bread dough out of which I made Parmesan-topped bow knots. Also took a bag o' salad and a batch of my very own Cranberry Crisp Bars (recipe follows).

Cranberry Crisp Bars

Crust:
1 c flour
1\2 c cold butter
1\2 c finely chopped walnuts (I didn't have any walnuts so I used oatmeal instead and it was fine)

Cut butter into flour and nuts until mixture resembles a coarse meal. Press evenly into the bottom of a 9 x 13 baking dish and bake at 350 for 10 minutes.

Filling:
1 15 ounce can of whole berry cranberry sauce

Spread the cranberry sauce over the warm baked crust.

Topping:
1 c old fashioned rolled oats
3\4 c flour
3\4 c brown sugar
1\2 softened butter

Combine topping ingredients until crumbly. Sprinkle over cranberry layer and continue baking 30 more minutes. Cool.

Makes 16 servings.

I Just May Need to Try This

2009-11-17T11:15:00.000-08:00

Mac and Cheese with Roasted Chicken, Goat Cheese and Rosemary

from Michael Symon's Live To Cook: Recipes and Techniques to Rock Your Kitchen as posted on Michael Ruhlman's blog.

Kosher salt as needed

1 pound dried rigatoni

1 quart cream

2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary

8 ounces goat cheese

2 cups shredded roasted chicken

Bring a pot of water to a boil (add enough salt so that it tastes seasoned). While it's heating, pour the cream into a large sauce pan, add the rosemary and a 1/2 teaspoon of salt and bring it to a simmer, careful not to let it boil over. Reduce the cream by about half. Add the goat cheese and chicken and keep cooking it till the cream coats the back of a spoon.

Cook the rigatoni till it's al dente, about ten minutes. Drain the pasta, add it to the sauce. Toss the pasta in the sauce till the sauce resumes a simmer, then serve.

Serves 6 to 8

As it happens, I have a fairly cheap source for goat cheese. I'm happy to do something with it besides spread it on crackers (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Late Night Snack

2009-11-17T10:53:00.000-08:00

Of course, I'm not entirely sure that this was a snack. My sleep pattern is so screwed up who knows anymore? But about 4AM last night (pretty sure it was night because it was all dark outside) I got the munchies. So I went into the kitchen, sliced a little off the roast beef I made for everyone else last night for dinner, and nuked them for a minute so they wouldn't be cold from the fridge. Then I took the next to last piece of the bread my honey made earlier, slathered it with a brie spread I got recently, then put the beef on the bread.

It was one of the best roast beef sandwiches I've ever had. The only thing I can think of to make it better is to add a smidge of horseradish to the brie. OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooh.

In Defense of Guy Fieri

2009-11-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Oh gag me.

From Food Network Fans (natch).

You've got it all wrong, John. I can't speak for others, only myself, but I will say this:

I dislike Guy Fieri (nee: Ferry) primarily because on too many occasions I saw him cram some huge greasy thing in his mouth and then witnessed the excess condiments drip all over his beard where it usually remained. Sorry, but this is not my idea of compelling television.

His network-developed, over the top Peter Pan frat boy persona is just, as they say, gravy. He is in no way real or sincere; rather he exists because some network tool thought him up and then cast him for the job. Ever see The Simpsons episode where network executives decide that Itchy and Scratchy's ratings are dropping and need to add a new character -- Poochie? Guy Fieri is Poochie.

I know he graduated from UNLV with a BS in Hospitality Management (doesn't quite sound like culinary chops to me unless in addition to Hotel and Restaurant Management they offer a chef option -- but frankly I don't know and yes, I could look it up, but I don't care enough to bother). I've seen his cooking show a couple of times and I can't imagine making any of his recipes. He has yet to learn that less is more. Goddam, does he ever back off with the spices? I think you'd have to be a hard core smoker to enjoy anything he made.

Is Bob Tuschman so very disappointed by criticism of his pet ("no one doesn't like Guy Fieri!") that he had to pay you to counter it with this touching paean? Tuschie would be better off realizing and acknowledging that he has screwed up Food Network big time with his poor programming decisions.

No one I know who is serious about food in general (at least cooking it, those whole like to watch jiggling tits and listen to inane stories while watching it be prepared and the aforementioned Peter Pan frat boy stuffing crap in his gaping maw are another story altogether) can't be bothered with Food Network anymore.

Now that you mention fois gras, perhaps Tuschie's next brainstorm will be a show in which tubes are shoved down the hosts' throats and they are force fed, Now that would be riveting!

Natalie Portman and Vigilante Veganism

2009-10-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

Don't you love the alliteration?

Came across this post on Salon today. I have to say there was a very interesting conflict among the ideas expressed both by the subject of the article and some of the posters commenting on the article.

I tried vegetarianism for a while and I have nothing against those who want to pursue this lifestyle. Frankly it doesn't work for me anymore because it's just too difficult to fulfill my protein need.

I will say, however, that many vegetarians I've met are insufferably sanctimonious. I certainly understand Tony Bourdain railing against them. If a person were to look at what goes on in nature, you know, that whole "Circle of Life" shtick, the way of things is to eat or be eaten. I remember a not-terribly-recent letter to the editor by someone complaining about neighbor cats and how they shouldn't be allowed out because when they killed birds in the area her vision of what "nature" was about was interrupted. Honey, cats killing birds IS nature. And yes, when the dog of my mother's neighbor killed another neighbor's cat, that was also nature. I wonder whether when vegetarians who are so against killing and death receive gifts of dead mice from little Fluffy are they upset?

For those who choose to be vegetarian for the sustainability aspect, I'm fine with that. I've had lots of neighbors who produced their own meat. At age 12 I was shocked when the people next door slaughtered their cow. But I can say that the animal was dispatched as quickly as possible and it seemed like a mere matter of seconds between the shot and the truck from Walt's Custom Slaughtering hoisting it up and going at the carcass with a chainsaw. Where I grew up (Vancouver, Washington) it used to be quite rural and all the 4H kids raised animals whose end, no doubt, would be in someone's freezer. Gordon Ramsey's show (on The F Word, I believe) detailed him taking the pigs his family had raised to slaughter. They showed the act and it did not appear to me as though the animals (Trinny and Susannah, LOL) suffered much pain between. Plus, he had the humanity to show some degree of conflict about having it done.

Industrialized meat production is not a pretty industry by any means. Remember the turkey murder that was filmed behind Sarah Palin talking about how great and fun it was to be at the turkey concentration camp?

There are in fact safety issues to be considered due to commercial meat production, which is why I have come to believe that the safest meat a person can get comes either from your own backyard or that of a neighbor, or anyone else who deals with it on a smaller scale.

I grant vegetarians every right to express their opinion and it would be nice to have the same freedom reciprocated. But hey, I don't tell you what to eat (Beano) so don't tell me. There are worse evils in the world to worry about.

PS-- in the Salon article Portman is quoted as saying she's a vegan. That is simply not the same thing as vegetarian because vegans don't eat dairy or eggs. Many of the recipes from that episode of Top Chef were clearly not vegan.

I also wonder whether she uses leather products such as shoes, purses, coats, etc. Oh, and "animal rights?" Let's stop killing people and then we can deal with animals.

Calphalon Rocks!

2009-10-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Got my new pan yesterday, have to hide it away from The Brat due to his tendency to put pans on the stove, turn the burner on and forget about it (love that ADHD!). In less than 24 hours we went though 2 dozen eggs. So far my fave involves sauteed shroom and cheddar.

She Didn't Take Much Persuading

2009-10-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

Only the briefest of mentions in an email to Sharmagne ("say why don't you compile these and publish your own cookbook?") LOL I am the editor and already have the table of contents. Now to the fun part of formatting and layout! I'm in heaven!

The working title is The Brown Hackle Lodge Cookbook, named for her fishing lodge in Arlington.

Last Night's Dinner

2009-10-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

I had 2 pounds of defrosted ground beef in the fridge that I knew had to be used soon. I figured meat loaf was a good, fast, easy way to dispose it all at once. My honey is Italian so we tend to use a lot of traditionally Italian ingredients such as garlic and parmesan cheese. So here's what I did:

I cut 4 slices from a loaf of artisanal sourdough garlic bread and toasted them to make bread crumbs. Added about a teaspoon of dried oregano and maybe twice as much dried basil. I'm growing basil but it's getting cold now and it isn't exactly looking great these days.

Placed ground beef in a large mixing bowl, add 2 eggs, about a cup of grated parmesan, some salt and pepper. I sauteed a chopped red onion, 3 cloves of garlic and 5 or 6 chopped cremini mushrooms. I mooshed everything together, adding the crumbs at the end. Shaped into a log in a greased 9x13 pan and baked at 350 for about 40 minutes.

The ends were fine but the middle was still a bit pink, so I nuked those slices for 1 minute and they were fine.

Honey couldn't stop saying "girl, that thing is delicious." It's a pleasure to cook for someone so easy to please.

Yes, Euell, Many Flowers Are Edible

2009-10-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

Sharmagne Leland St.-John was one of my very first good Internet pals. I had been working at AOL for a few months and begun exploring the many message boards. In the Royalty section, I noticed many posts referring to a person named "Sharm," but never saw her posting. She seemed to evoke tempestuous feelings in others as to a man, they either loved her or reviled her. I began to wonder whether this mythical being, who no one could stop talking about, was real or legend. It wasn't long before people started accusing me of being her.

One day, after a year or so, she returned to the boards. Amazed, I emailed her and said I was so glad to see that she existed because so many posters thought I was she. That was the beginning of a great friendship.

Today Sharmagne and I are colleagues on a poetry site and yes, we've met in real life. She never fails to amaze me with her endless creativity, schmoozing ability, and generosity. Not to mention the occasional hilarious hot-headed outburst. Rock on soul sistah!
Recipes courtesy of Sharmagne Leland-St. John

Rose Petal Bread

This unusual recipe dates back to Medieval times and is perfect for serving at an outdoor luncheon.

2 packages active dry yeast
2 cups warm water
6 tablespoons honey
7 cups unbleached white or whole wheat flour
1 2/3 tablespoons coarse salt
6 whole eggs plus one egg yolk
1 cup currants, softened in warm water
6 tablespoons melted butter
Butter for greasing bowls and cookie sheet
1 1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1 1/2 teaspoon basil
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup finely chopped rose petals * (1 - 2 dozen red roses)
Several drops of red food color

Pour 1/2 cup warm water in a large bowl; sprinkle with the packages of yeast. Stir in the honey and let stand for 5 minutes.

Add the remaining warm water and 2 1/2 to 3 cups of flour. Beat by hand with a wooden spoon about 200 strokes. Cover with a damp cloth, put in a warm place and let the dough rise for 35 to 45 minutes or until doubled.

Punch the dough down and beat in the salt, melted butter and 5 whole eggs and the one yolk. Stir in the softened currants.

With a pestle and mortar, crush the rosemary, basil, cinnamon and the rose petals to make a paste. Add the herb mixture to the dough in the bowl and knead it, blending well. The bread should be a delicate rose hue. If the color from the petals isn't strong enough, use the red food color sparingly.

Using a spoon, beat in the remaining flour. Knead the dough until it comes away from the sides of the bowl.

Lightly flour a bread board or a slab of marble and turn the dough out onto it. Knead until smooth or elastic, about 10 to 12 minutes. Add small amounts of flour if the dough becomes too sticky to handle.

Place the dough in a buttered bowl. Cover with a damp cloth. Let it rise in a warm place until it has doubled in size (about 50 minutes).

Punch the dough down. Cover it and let it rest again until it has doubled in bulk. (30 minutes)

Again punch the dough down. Turn it onto a floured surface and let it rest for 5 minutes. Shape the dough into one or two free form twists or coils. Place on a buttered cookie sheet, cover lightly with a towel and let rise in a warm place until it has doubled again. (25 minutes)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Brush the loaf or loaves with the remaining whole egg, lightly beaten.

Bake for about 50 minutes until nicely browned and the loaf sounds hollow when tapped lightly with the knuckles. Place the bread on a wire rack to cool.

*Use ONLY rose petals which are free from pesticides. These may be purchased from a florist or home grown in an organic garden.

~~~~~

Nasturtium Salad

Harvest the nasturtium leaves flowers. The medium leaves and flowers are best. You may also find these in most gourmet markets.

40 Nasturtium leaves
20 Nasturtium flowers
2 heads of Butter lettuce
3 hard cooked eggs peeled and sliced into rounds

In the bottom of a large salad bowl prepare the dressing, stirring well to
dissolve the salt.

Dressing:
3 teaspoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons nasturtium vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
2 or 3 pinches white pepper

Wash the leaves, flowers, and lettuce. Spin in a salad spinner until dry. Set the flowers aside.

Tear the butter lettuce into bite sized pieces. Put the nasturtium and lettuce leaves into the bowl, add egg rounds and toss until all the leaves are coated. Sprinkle the flowers on top. Toss again just before serving.

Nasturtium Vinegar
Harvest and wash at least 20 nasturtium flowers. Boil a jar or decorative bottle until sterilized. Fill the jar or bottle with the nasturtium flowers and pour rice vinegar over them. Seal and put in a cool dark place for 3 weeks.

Welcome to Hakuna Fritatta!

2009-10-08T05:48:00.000-07:00

Just one more meaningless, noisy blog dealing with food on the interwebz. This blog was inspired by the arrogance and general douchebaggery brought about by eater.com, who seems to think that only they and Food Network should be allowed to post about food. Since their site is awash in pay-per-click advertising seemingly paid for by Food Network they have offered $25 to food blogs who shut down and post their incredibly tacky ass poster showing that eater.com now owns their ass.

Dunno, selling one's soul to FN for a lousy $25? Dignity and not being a whore...priceless.

Well guess what Eater? Eat me!